SaNiah Dawson

SaNiah's Story

Throughout my eighteen years, I have experienced many adversities and disappointments that might have caused others to give up on their hopes and dreams and destroyed their self-esteem. Instead, these experiences encouraged me to continue to fight for success and be a kind, self-aware, resilient young woman with a heart filled with love for others.

When I was nine years old, my apartment caught fire and my family lost everything, and while our neighbors perished in the raging fire, our lives were spared. My mother, my siblings, and I moved into a hotel where we spent the next two months. Two years later, because my mother lost her job and our house, my family of six ended up back in a hotel living in one room that consisted of two twin beds, a bathroom, a dresser, and a table.

Despite my dire living situation, my young, insecure self desired acceptance from my absentee father. Yet I never received it. I constantly sought that which I would never get, which led to feeling disappointed, angry, and jealous. I envied my siblings, my friends, and anyone else blessed to have a father present in their lives. I often wondered why I was not good enough: Too big? Too weird? Too dark? Too ugly? Too broke? Or was I simply a mistake? The search for whatever personal flaws that made my father disown me exhausted me as I chased after a goal that would never be achieved. This endless search shadowed my soul and destroyed my self-esteem.

As I grew older, journaling helped me accept being fatherless and fully appreciate the amazing gift of life and family. Once I was able to put my feelings and thoughts to paper, I learned that the only acceptance I needed was from myself. I began to embrace that which appeared to make me an outcast, from being a plus-size dancer to having the darkest complexion in my friend group. I started to celebrate the people who truly loved and appreciated me for the person I was becoming. Not having a father has helped me to live with my flaws, those real and those perceived. Most importantly, I learned that the love that I receive each day from my strong, caring mother, who is with me every step along my journey, is enough to fill my needs.

Through the adversities in my life, I discovered that my destiny is to guide others through their struggles of self-acceptance and stressful situations. “God does everything for a reason.” I believe that growing up fatherless has not only brought about shameful moments in my life, but also it has yielded many blessings. I have empathy for those who face challenges like mine. I encourage others to work through their circumstances, as I did. Discovering my passion through my unfortunate tribulations enabled me to see that in every horrible situation, there is always a positive outcome that can strengthen and encourage. I thank my father for not being in my life even though a parent’s love is extremely important. His absence brought me growth, strength, and tolerance that I use daily. It moved me from being an emotionally-scarred child, with no self-esteem to being elected vice president of our class by my classmates. The only way we can embrace change is to first accept ourselves and our experiences; we can then stand tall and defeat the obstacles that hold us back from reaching our full potential.